The BreakUp Call

The first of three in a short read series written for young adult readers, The BreakUp Call: Learn To Be Your Own Bae seeks to encourage self-love and self-awareness in navigating the twists and turns in matters of the heart. 

Dedicated to my daughter, Katrina Alexis.

Introduction

I am a huge Nina Simone fan.

My admiration is not just about her music, but the way she stood in her power as a woman without apology. She always spoke outright in strength and truth. 

In her song, You've Got To Learn, she admonishes, "you have to know how to get up from the table when love is no longer being served." 

The Cinderella "happily ever after" mantra has been packaged and sold over the centuries by way of art, poetry, music, and film. 

Recent technological advances have furthered its reach, morphing relationships with attempts at fitting them into the modern social media phenomena, online dating, text and direct messaging, against the backdrop frenzy of television reality shows.

As a result, young women, especially, find themselves in a whirlwind of fantasy web weaving standing alone holding a box with a glass slipper inside waiting for a handsome prince to deliver its match; a perfect pair, a perfect fit, right?

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. And some glass slipper encounters are poor fits or cases of mistaken identity.

And that's okay.

The key to emotional stability is to develop and maintain enough self awareness to recognize the reality of the relationship type you are involved in; a for now, a forever, or a for never love experience.

The BreakUp Call  was written as an empowered self-love reminder to support you in getting there.

Love as a feeling is a many splendored thing, however, as a decision, it can be both humbling and grounding. 

Each involvement, no matter the turn it takes is a golden opportunity for learning more about yourself, the type of love you wish to welcome, and the kind of love you are willing to give. 

Every experience can serve as an exercise that teaches you to balance your vulnerability with your common sense. I have learned over time that getting to know myself helps me learn to master my emotions and make better choices.

The truth is always true and a half truth is always a whole lie; even when we resist the acceptance of it.

Relationships, though never a perfect journey, should not be stress-filled and all-consuming, but should instead breathe life and peace into your existence. The selection process is where we usually miss the mark and set ourselves on the path to breaking our own hearts.

Mom won't be able to save you from the heartache of relationship miscalculations. 

I wish I could. 

I can, however, offer gentle guidance in hopes of keeping you heart healthy in the relationship forest and encourage you to never give up on the beauty that a real love experience can add to your life. 

Make your heart the priority above the heart of any potential partner and never compromise your best self.

You are my most precious gift.

Keep your heart open, your wits about you, and learn when to be your own Bae. 

With all the love in my Being.

Mom

Now Available on Amazon!
The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Now Available on Amazon!
Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself
www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Coming Soon to Amazon!
Rediscover Yourself 
and 
Getting To Know You

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Reawaken To Joy!
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Assessing Our Circle

"The tribe often thinks the visionary has turned his back on them. When, in fact, the visionary has turned his face to the future." ~ Ray A. Davis

The old adage, "birds of a feather," holds true. You will become your tribe.

I encourage my students to be aware of their closest circle of friends. As we tend to gravitate toward individuals who are most like us, walking in awareness and knowing who and what your circle is manifesting is imperative. 

We are life long learners and our greatest subject of study is ourselves. When we take a mindful look at our current circle of association, we can get a snapshot of who we are, how we are operating, and what we are creating in our daily lives.

Understand that I am not speaking of group think and all the trappings it can hold. 

There should be supportive members of your inner circle who confront and challenge you to grow into your better to best self. 

Your circle should always be forward moving in directions that are elevating and positive. They should not be fearful of confronting you when they believe you have taken a wrong turn or given energy to a purpose that is not in service to your higher being or the good of the Universe at large.

Your closest associations should be desirous of your wholeness and be willing to support you in getting there as best they are able. 

My tribe members know my energy well and I can rely upon them to pinch me into awakenings I may be avoiding or ignoring. And I do my best to offer the same love and support to them.

Be mindful of your closest associations and be honest about all you are manifesting.

What is the current status of your circle?
Is it time to rethink your associations and form new alliances?
Is your circle supporting your higher functioning and forward movement?

Now Available on Amazon!
The BreakUp Call

Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Available Now on Amazon!

Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself

www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Coming Soon to Amazon!
Rediscover Yourself
and
Getting To Know You

Join the journey and experience the joy of unfolding!
FREE EBOOK DOWNLOAD
Reawaken To Joy!
http://newjoyzbooks.weebly.com/join-nya.html

Owning Our Internal Mantras

"Whatever you're doing, do that with total awareness." 
~ Tony Samara

Our outer environment exists in direct correlation with our inner stasis.

We exist in the world, but our essence and inspiration toward creation is not of this world and we must be mindful of what we are incubating and birthing.

With all the chaos and disorder floating amongst us these days, attention on the functioning of the inner life is the most powerful tool in the mindfulness arsenal. 

No matter the work we do, our sacred calling is to heal and be healed. Each of us has the power to project positive change and healing into the environment. 

"No one guides the tone of my life, except me." ~ Shannon L. Alder

The sea of chatter within visits the shore of every experience and messages incoming require constant unpacking, organizing, and purging. The method for accomplishing this task in a consistent way determines the level of growth versus stagnation created in our world. 

No one has a perfect existence, though there is always opportunity to experience extraordinary moments of meaningful bliss worthy of repeating.

Transformation occurs from the inside out and as we allow the kundalini clean up of our inner thought life we commit to a state of upward spiral evolution. We are in constant co-creation with the Universal mind.

Our thoughts become our eventual reality.

In what ways has your inner stasis been manifesting in your outer environment?
As you focus on your internal mantras are you listening for life?
What thoughts need to be purged from your inner knowing?

"Please Universe, help me
 help myself 
and help me show others
 how to help themselves."
~ Kamand Kojouri

Available Now on Amazon!
Recover Yourself
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Available Now on Amazon!
The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Join the journey and experience the joy of unfolding!
FREE EBOOK DOWNLOAD
Reawaken to Joy!
http://newjoyzbooks.weebly.com/join-nya.html

Concerning Assumptions

"Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts." ~ Joe Friday

Facts are different from assumptions. It is so easy to get caught up in what we want to believe versus what is really true. 

Facts keep us awakened to truth even when difficult to hear or to accept. 

The current trend in human interaction is a passive one. We lead busy distracted lives that keep us moving quickly past the next thing after thing, with very little attention to details that matter.

Assumptions breed misunderstandings that can spiral out of control. It can be disheartening to deal with the disappointing fall out of what we choose to believe based upon what we assume to think we hear or understand.

While assumptions have the potential to dream weave in round about ways with half facts, mindful observance and active listening keep us awakened to realities we can build our lives upon.

"Ask if you need to, but don't assume. Sometimes our bad feelings are only assumptions and speculations doing dark dances in our heads." ~ Bonnie Lyn Smith

As passive listeners, we can miss the verbal and physical communication cues adding layers to conversations that make messages crystal clear. Sometimes we want to hear yes so much so, we ignore the no hidden within. 

"You must never assume that what people say or do in a particular moment is a statement of their permanent desires." ~ Robert Greene

Assumptions cloud our responses and make us vulnerable to building houses made of cards on sandy foundations. It takes courage to listen for painful truths, but the pain of a crumbling dream house built on shaky ground is far worse.

A half truth is still a whole lie.

Learn to engage and actively listen for the facts. Seek clarity and embrace facts as a bottom line and be encouraged by the peace and freedom that truth provides. 

Assume nothing. 

Are your personal interactions driven by facts or assumptions?
How has making assumptions created challenges in your decision making?
Do you have the courage to listen for the facts?

Available Now on Amazon!

"Recover Yourself"

www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Join the journey and experience the joy of unfolding!

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Reawaken to Joy!

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Now Available!

The Break Up Call

Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

New Wine

"You better pay attention, build your comprehension." 
~ Godspell

Confronting difficult circumstances can find us reacting instead of responding to the 
consequences of our decision making. 

Too often we choose resistance to inner unctions and insulate ourselves from our most power-filled opportunities for transformation. Turning away from pain-filled truths keeps us trapped in the futile employment of failed tactics while expecting different results.

This is a challenging space to exist within when our choices repeatedly result in negative outcomes. 

It makes little sense to climb an apple tree seeking pears, yet this is what we are doing when we look for answers outside ourselves. 

To discover the answers that can break our cycles of self-generated insanity takes courage. We must explore what's happening on the inside.

"And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins." ~ Mark 2:22

Most of the time we prove to be our own poison, making vain attempts at pouring new wine into old skins only to invite spoil. Our temples must be cleared in preparation for new offerings, renewed thinking, and revival of purpose.

The most valuable knowledge we can attain is the wisdom of self and our inner functioning.

These are the only truths that will liberate us, making us freer and wiser in pursuit of the keys to the kingdom of an ever increasing abundance of peace and joy.

Liberate yourself from old patterns. 

Check your wine skins.

Do you have the courage to face the pain-filled truths in your old patterns?
Are you resisting the consequences of your decisions?
Have you checked the condition of your wineskins? 

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"Recover Yourself"
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Now Available!
The Break Up Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Choose Your Word

"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice." ~ T.S. Eliot

In the final week of each year, I meditate upon gratitude as I begin to look forward to setting intentions for the year incoming.

I know that words are powerful containers and that which is spoken consistently over our lives manifests our reality and five years out from the events that triggered my most intense crises of healing, I have learned so much about this power.

As a result, as the eve of a new year approaches, I choose a one word mantra of focus to speak into the circumstances of my life.

The first two years following my crises, the only word I could muster any amount of focus upon was "survival." Survival would serve as my one word beacon until I finally stopped holding my breath and the word "awakening" emerged. 

Soon after, "revival" revealed itself and the possibility that my state of being could change lit a candle of hope in my being.  By the time "recovery", and "realignment" arrived I had begun to discover a renewed sense of purpose.

Surviving that dark night of the soul has given me an undeniable experience with the healing grace of God. When my cross was at its heaviest, the Creator proved his love consistently and I can now thrive in the space between survival and creation. 

God is truly good and I am grateful for how far I have come.

This year I look forward to living in "co-creation." There are mountains yet to climb, but I now know when to admit I am tired, when to ask for help, and how to rest.

In the remaining hours before welcoming the expectancy of a year filled with new beginnings, choose your word. It is a time for planting new seed in the fertile soil of a new year.

Choose your word.

What one word mantra defined your life this past year?

Do you need a new word spoken over your life in the coming year?

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Recover Yourself!

Introduction

There is a force within that gives you life; seek that. 

~ Rumi

"Thank God it's Friday!" is a familiar four-word refrain understood across cultures. For those balancing the responsibilities of work, school, family, second jobs, and side gigs, the anticipation of Friday carries the weight of the entire work week.

Commitment to our work is imperative, however, we must also make self-care a priority. If the mind is not well, we are without clarity. If the body is sick, our daily functioning is limited, and if we are weak spiritually, we are unable to receive guidance.

Attempts at living within imbalance carry steep consequences over the long term.

When attention is not paid to the mini glitches in the matrix of life our lifelines can become frayed and fail us.

Life is filled with setbacks; some greater than others. With this knowledge, we must determine to be mindful of our capacity for recovery. Each trial exposes areas of weakness in our game plan.

Our strategies don’t have to be perfect, but we should be prepared to address our challenges. When we are not we risk breakdowns of incapacity that threaten to paralyze us and prevent us from moving forward.

A danger foreseen is half-avoided. ~ Cheyenne Proverb

My grandmother is the most resilient woman I have ever known and her wisdom and determination empower my days and nights yet still.

From a young girl growing up in the segregated south during the Great Depression, she farmed, did laundry, cooked, baked, kept houses, tended children and made everything from butter and soap to corn liquor. She never slowed down, and an attack on her brain was the ultimate result. 

The reward for a young life committed to hard work in hard times were three strokes that left her paralyzed on her left side and unable to speak. When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her husband and their three young children staring down at her.  All were terrified.

"That's when I knew," she'd said, "I knew that whatever it took, I had to get out of that bed. My family needed me. I was barely alive, but I had to live for them."

Balance is a necessity and we must seek it in every aspect of our lives. When it is not a priority, we decrease our opportunities to experience joy in our work, home, and family life.

Most times, we do not hate our jobs or our lives, we have just allowed the frustration that goes along with depletion of resources to dominate our experience. When this occurs, our peace is disturbed and resentments set in. Our resources are our minds, our bodies, and our spirits and we must preserve and protect them.

At the time, my grandmother knew she had to recover, to overcome this episode that had flattened her and threatened the livelihood of her family and the future of her children. It was in that moment she decided to fight and became determined she could. And with the help of Almighty God, she would recover.

She also knew how the industrious drive in her nature had kept her so focused on her responsibilities that she neglected her own personal well-being and until the Universe sent her an unmistakable message she would have continued upon the path she later warned me to take care upon.

When it came my turn to join the rat race of life knowing the journey ahead, she gave me the benefit of her wisdom. "Do your work, but remember that rest is important."

It is better to prevent than to cure. ~ Peruvian Proverb

Recovery is an act of rescue, the act or process of returning to a normal state after a period of difficulty. It is a recapture, a reclamation, a recoupment, a repossession, or retrieval. It is a redemption.

Most of us live in a harried unbalanced way. When we reach the breaking point, we have no awareness of how or where to begin to rebuild our lives in a healthier way.

The Unfolding with Joy Series of books are short reads offered in love as a supportive reminder of the importance of taking pause to note the checks and balances in our lives.

"Recover Yourself!" is the first of the three. As the opening text, it examines what occurs when we come to the end of our rope and we are confronted with the lifestyle choices that resulted in our arrival at our current stress-filled circumstance.

Driving hard and fast toward set goals must be supported by a healthy mind, body, and spirit. You have a right to personal achievement. You have a right to personal well-being. You have a right to feel good along the journey. Use what you find here to shift your focus and unfold into that space of returning to peace, clarity, and joy ever increasing.

Seek balance moving forward and handle your state of being with care.

Recover Yourself!

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