Sunday, May 29, 2016

Tending the Well of Self

"I want to spend more time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me." ~ Jarod Kintz

Many of us exist within the idea of a warped space of the Absolute Self. 

Here the ego decides the pursuits toward fulfillment of its needs only and absolutely beyond limit or mercy. This energy can prompt individuals to draw upon the wells of fellow travelers with little thought of giving anything real or substantial of themselves in return.

At the other extreme exists those who give absolutely, until the day their need for water finds their well depleted. Left with no inner resources those they've selflessly been supplying abandon the empty bucket in search of another willing supplier. 

"... and she loved a boy very, very much --- even more than she loved herself." ~ Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

Recall the popular children's book, The Giving Tree. The lovely tree gave the little boy anything he asked of her. He returned again over many years, with empty hands requesting she sacrifice more of her being into his life. And she gave. The tree gave of herself almost into non-existence. Finally as a stump upon which to sit, she was willing yet to give to the boy, now an old man.

The author shows the boy asking and the tree giving until they are both depleted by the lack of balance in their exchanges. As the reader, in the end, I always felt worse for the tree. She gave everything and gained nothing. The imbalance in her love of giving permitted the boy to selfishly benefit from the value of her leaves, her branches, and her trunk with little more than a hollow 'thanks'.

"One hand I extend into myself, the other toward others." ~ Dejan Stojanovic

Take a close look at the condition of the well of your Absolute Self. You will find that your ego is driving increasingly in one direction over the other as a selfless giver or a selfish taker. And even if you believe yourself a giver, consider the purity of your intention. If your giving operates from a place of manipulation and control, unlike the selfless tree, you may find you are more like the boy than you might have imagined.

Absolute takers function in life much differently from absolute givers. 

If we can be honest about what motivates our giving and taking, we can discover the places within we have been unwilling to see or allow ourselves to feel. As we increase in awareness, we can invite each experience as an opportunity to discover the necessity for balance between our receiving and our giving. 

Seek balance and though your well may sometimes run low, it will never be empty.

Are you most often a giver or a taker?
What is the underlying intention of your giving and taking? 
How can you create balance between giving and taking in your life?
What are you giving to others? What are you giving to yourself?


"Growing in awareness transforms our need for receiving into the love of giving." ~Joseph Rain

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Sunday, May 1, 2016

A Hard Rain

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all the obstacles in my way ..." ~ Johnny Nash

The 60's and 70's are a favorite era in music. 

Tooling about the city in the backseat of my mother's Pinto singing at the top of my lungs, I just knew the man on the radio was singing about "all the popsicles in my way". That song filled my heart with such joy. After all, it was a song about popsicles on a sunny day. 

Such is the mind of a child, but now I know better.

"Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book." ~ Bill Watterson

As an adult, I suffer with migraines. Fluctuations in barometric pressure are not my friend, but I rather enjoy a good thunderstorm and I always think of the "popsicle song" in a good hard rain.

Seated on my deck in the kiss of a mist filled breeze is life and I love the scent of the rain on my skin. I feel I'm being watered in newness that can spring forth from my soul to meet the Sun's invitation for growth into deeper spaces of healing.

"I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty." ~ Mark Haddon

Psychologist and Buddhist meditation teacher, Tara Brach, teaches a systematic means to manage our emotions during times of confusion or stress called RAIN. In summary: Recognize what has happened, Allow what is to be as it is, Investigate with kindness your emotions and beliefs about a thing, employ Non-identification to invite a natural awareness without attachment to what has happened. 

As a practice, RAIN, is restorative and provides clearing not unlike the Sun breaking through clouds after a storm. I find it helpful in identifying and broadening my response patterns and it has deepened my meditation practice. 

Sitting in the RAIN is not easier but I come away with a keener understanding of self and my responses to the events of life as they unfold and I have reaped expansive benefits in daily living.

So much in life is beyond our control, but so much is within it. 

I don't have to respond the same way when a button is pushed. I can choose something different that invites more of what I want and less of what I don't into my sphere of energy. Emotional clarity lends insight into purpose. 

A clearer vision breeds peace of mind and that is what I am seeking.

"Gone are the dark clouds that had me bound. It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day." ~ Johnny Nash

Are there benefits to your habitual response patterns in times of stress or crisis?
Can you name the distractions you are using to resist or avoid unpleasant experiences with truth in your life?
How can RAIN help you to see all the "popsicles" in your way?


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