Watch Your Selfing

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." 
~ Jalaluddin Rumi

Ego: Why won't they just act right? 

Spirit: Well, they are acting right. They are acting in the way that is right for them and that has nothing at all to do with you.

At times we become obsessed with what, whom, and how we want something to be or someone to behave. Forgetting our true purpose is to grow and transform in the service of the Universal greater good, we get tangled in a perpetual web of selfing.

So what is selfing? 

Selfing has to do with actions and feelings related to our self image and our perception of what we deem we must own or possess, including people and how we go about seeking control. 

Jon Kabat Zinn describes it as the inevitable and incorrigible tendency to construct out of almost everything and every situation an I, me, or mine and then to operate in the world from that limited perspective which is mostly fantasy and defense.

Phillip Moffitt talks about selfishness, self-centeredness, and self-referencing as three types of selfing which demonstrate how ego identity is created and informs our methods of interaction.

When left unexamined, the habit of selfing leads to an unhealthy reliance upon reactivity and clinging in our interactions as opposed to the awakened approach to living that allows us to simply respond to being with what is as it exists.

"The great benefit of practicing mindfulness is presence of mind within a storm of emotions." ~ Phillip Moffitt

Basic human decency includes the empathy shown by giving others the space to grow even as they move away from us in the purpose of their own path. As the mother of a daughter soon to be off to college, this is an especially difficult challenge for me.

Respect for the boundaries of another increases a sense of peace, freedom, and well being. This is the give and take that creates harmony in our personal interactions.

We are accountable to our intentions and we must be willing to embrace right action within the practice of being with what is just as it unfolds. 

"We must be willing to encounter darkness and despair when they come up and face them, over and over again if need be, without running away or numbing ourselves in the thousands of ways we conjure up to avoid the unavoidable." ~ Jon Kabat Zinn

The cure for this virus of the ego mind is training to be alive in the awakened state of mindfulness. 

Each interaction we experience is a golden opportunity to address our own evolvement and we must learn to operate from the framework of appropriate questioning. We must acknowledge our wanting and our fear of losing what we believe should be and examine what lead us to that belief.

When an individual or a circumstance causes agitation within us, the immediate question should not be one based in reactivity by way of clinging and asking 'what's wrong with them' or 'why are they doing this to me', but should be an awakened responsiveness that compels us to examine why another's choices are affecting us in this way. 

"Change that does not lead to liberation from fear, greed and delusion is not wholesome. Furthermore, any change that does not yield more compassion and loving kindness for yourself and others is a waste of precious life energy." ~ Phillip Moffit

In His infinite wisdom, our Creator loves us enough to grant us the freedom that makes room for our choices even when that means deciding to live separate from His will. 

It is not within our purpose to deny anyone the same gift.

"Free will is a precious gift from God, for it lets us love him with our "whole heart" because we want to." 

~ Matthew 22:37

Are you mindful of your intentions as you interact with people and circumstances?
Have you been operating from the space of controlling reactivity or awakened responsiveness?
How can you begin showing empathy and learn to respect the free will of others?

Realigning Our Energies

"The art of living is neither careless drifting nor fearful clinging. It consists in being sensitive to each moment in regarding it as utterly new, unique, in having the mind open and wholly receptive." ~ Alan Watts

I spent much of the summer in quiet reflection. 

A holy solitude observing and listening for energetic changes from within. Seeking the Creator's guidance and realigning my intentions to ensure I am on purpose with what He has in Universal mind.  

I treasured time spent on the coast watching the waves and becoming one with the peace that exists there when the water is calm. It was a reminder of what I must invite into my Being. A continuous surrender to the constant healing flow of life force energies intent upon a balanced clearing and the stability it creates. 

"You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole sea is doing."~ Alan Watts

Seated near the waters edge, I set intentions based upon these revelations. I carried this focus home and began to empty my living space of things which no longer supported or served as blockage to the purpose of my Being. It is amazing how much "stuff" we accumulate in a year that can hinder our expansion. Not just in our physical environment, but our inner spiritual and emotional environment as well. 

Releasing as a means toward realigning my energies became priority to the progression of my ever evolving soul journey. 

As a result, I feel better prepared to meet new challenges in the areas into which the Creator is calling. Preparation is key and minimizes the fear and anxiety that comes along with the requirements of growth and change. 

I'll spend the fall months connecting with family and friends with intentions from a space of ever increasing clarity and renewed energies. 

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer." ~ Zora Neale Hurston

In what ways has the Universe encouraged your clearing process?
What can you do to invite a more peaceful flow into your Being?
Are you prepared to meet the areas of expansion the Creator is calling you into?

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." ~ Alan Watts

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Flight of the Hummingbird

"Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God."   

~ Job 37:14

The Universe is on everyone's side. 

Every good gift comes from our Creator and it is His desire to bless us and He through every aspect of His creation is always speaking truth to our reality.

As I experience more life, I seek to create quieter moments to digest my experiences. Lessons are all around us and many times nature proves to be our best and most profound teacher.

I live in an area that was once forest, and though I make no claims to being a country girl, I enjoy having a home close to the city, yet just outside it. Of great advantage are opportunities for frequent wild life visits in various forms from deer to foxes, to turtles and rabbits and the chance to observe them. 

"Hummingbird teaches us to transcend time, to hover in the moment, to appreciate its sweetness." ~ Constance Barrett Sohodski

I find that my favorite visitor has been the hummingbird.

The hummingbird is a fascinating creature. It is all at once fierce, yet delicate. Fragile, yet vigorous. There are many take aways as I observe their comings and goings but what stands out most to me is their focus on presence.

The decision to be present for my life is a continuous process. Waiting, listening, and observing can be a great challenge in today's fast paced society. 

Learning to hover, like hummingbird is a true test, but it is necessary and proves fruitful in the long run. As I take time to draw wisdom's nectar from each experience, I am nourished and able to expand and move forward into greater possibilities.

"Never be afraid to sit awhile and think." ~ Lorraine Hansberry

When listening to fellow travellers speak of their spirit animals, I imagine I have been lovingly adopted by the energy of the hummingbird and I am grateful for her teachings. The habit of taking a bit of joy in waiting, even when it's especially difficult, I have discovered I can sit in anticipation for beauty to return. 

Do you make time to absorb the most pressing events of your life?

Have you been adopted by a spirit animal?

What valuable lessons from nature have you been missing?

"Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days seeing beauty in everything." ~ Amethyst Wyldfyre

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The Truth About Transformation

"You can't lie to your soul." ~ Irvine Welsh

Commitment to transformation as a daily pursuit is a journey we take breath after breath. 

It's a self paced process determined by our willingness to submit to soul lessons as they are presented. Our resistance speaks directly to how quickly we move through the fires of higher elevation in our existence or how easily we shrink back into the powerlessness of fear and remain the same.

"You cannot stay at the same level as when you first practiced your truth. Life won't let you." 
~ Kamal Ravikant

Stagnation is alive and well in our comfort zones. 

The human body is 50%-65% water and in stagnation, not unlike water, we become a bitter and useless dwelling as a force of positive energy in the earth plane. Our most profound breakthroughs require honest and consistent self examination. Our personal growth mindset should always be focused on tending the garden of our best selves.  

"Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?" ~ Marcus Aurelius

My grandfather used to tell us to pray before judging another and to always ask God to show us the things within our own lives that were not pleasing to Him. 

"You'll find there's a lot of stuff in your own life in need of fixing," my Granddaddy would say. And he was right. Sorting through the messiness of our most personal truths could keep us busy through eternity.

The oven of self reflection is often an unpleasant place to visit and if we are not mindful, deflection can become a favorite past time which reaps no benefits in personal transformation terms. 

"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." ~ Spencer Johnson

The more clarity we invite within allows us to express ourselves with pure intention to those with whom we interact. Truth illuminates communication and eliminates mixed messages that get lost in translation somewhere between what is said, unsaid, and what is assumed to be understood.

"The armor of falsehood is subtly wrought out of darkness, and hides a man not only from others, but from his own soul." ~ E. M. Forster

Release your fear of the oven of self reflection. Your light is always trying to emerge in its truest, brightest, and most authentic form. Lean into each growth experience. Speak your truths and grow. Your greatest opportunities for transformation await. 

Don't resist your chance to shine.

Is the habit of deflecting your truth limiting your personal transformation experience?
Are you devoting ample time for self reflection?
What do you fear the light of self reflection might reveal?

"If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant." ~ Jessica Zafra

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Tending the Well of Self

"I want to spend more time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me." ~ Jarod Kintz

Many of us exist within the idea of a warped space of the Absolute Self. 

Here the ego decides the pursuits toward fulfillment of its needs only and absolutely beyond limit or mercy. This energy can prompt individuals to draw upon the wells of fellow travelers with little thought of giving anything real or substantial of themselves in return.

At the other extreme exists those who give absolutely, until the day their need for water finds their well depleted. Left with no inner resources those they've selflessly been supplying abandon the empty bucket in search of another willing supplier. 

"... and she loved a boy very, very much --- even more than she loved herself." ~ Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

Recall the popular children's book, The Giving Tree. The lovely tree gave the little boy anything he asked of her. He returned again over many years, with empty hands requesting she sacrifice more of her being into his life. And she gave. The tree gave of herself almost into non-existence. Finally as a stump upon which to sit, she was willing yet to give to the boy, now an old man.

The author shows the boy asking and the tree giving until they are both depleted by the lack of balance in their exchanges. As the reader, in the end, I always felt worse for the tree. She gave everything and gained nothing. The imbalance in her love of giving permitted the boy to selfishly benefit from the value of her leaves, her branches, and her trunk with little more than a hollow 'thanks'.

"One hand I extend into myself, the other toward others." ~ Dejan Stojanovic

Take a close look at the condition of the well of your Absolute Self. You will find that your ego is driving increasingly in one direction over the other as a selfless giver or a selfish taker. And even if you believe yourself a giver, consider the purity of your intention. If your giving operates from a place of manipulation and control, unlike the selfless tree, you may find you are more like the boy than you might have imagined.

Absolute takers function in life much differently from absolute givers. 

If we can be honest about what motivates our giving and taking, we can discover the places within we have been unwilling to see or allow ourselves to feel. As we increase in awareness, we can invite each experience as an opportunity to discover the necessity for balance between our receiving and our giving. 

Seek balance and though your well may sometimes run low, it will never be empty.

Are you most often a giver or a taker?
What is the underlying intention of your giving and taking? 
How can you create balance between giving and taking in your life?
What are you giving to others? What are you giving to yourself?

"Growing in awareness transforms our need for receiving into the love of giving." ~Joseph Rain

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A Hard Rain

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all the obstacles in my way ..." ~ Johnny Nash

The 60's and 70's are a favorite era in music. 

Tooling about the city in the backseat of my mother's Pinto singing at the top of my lungs, I just knew the man on the radio was singing about "all the popsicles in my way". That song filled my heart with such joy. After all, it was a song about popsicles on a sunny day. 

Such is the mind of a child, but now I know better.

"Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book." ~ Bill Watterson

As an adult, I suffer with migraines. Fluctuations in barometric pressure are not my friend, but I rather enjoy a good thunderstorm and I always think of the "popsicle song" in a good hard rain.

Seated on my deck in the kiss of a mist filled breeze is life and I love the scent of the rain on my skin. I feel I'm being watered in newness that can spring forth from my soul to meet the Sun's invitation for growth into deeper spaces of healing.

"I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty." ~ Mark Haddon

Psychologist and Buddhist meditation teacher, Tara Brach, teaches a systematic means to manage our emotions during times of confusion or stress called RAIN. In summary: Recognize what has happened, Allow what is to be as it is, Investigate with kindness your emotions and beliefs about a thing, employ Non-identification to invite a natural awareness without attachment to what has happened. 

As a practice, RAIN, is restorative and provides clearing not unlike the Sun breaking through clouds after a storm. I find it helpful in identifying and broadening my response patterns and it has deepened my meditation practice. 

Sitting in the RAIN is not easier but I come away with a keener understanding of self and my responses to the events of life as they unfold and I have reaped expansive benefits in daily living.

So much in life is beyond our control, but so much is within it. 

I don't have to respond the same way when a button is pushed. I can choose something different that invites more of what I want and less of what I don't into my sphere of energy. Emotional clarity lends insight into purpose. 

A clearer vision breeds peace of mind and that is what I am seeking.

"Gone are the dark clouds that had me bound. It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day." ~ Johnny Nash

Are there benefits to your habitual response patterns in times of stress or crisis?
Can you name the distractions you are using to resist or avoid unpleasant experiences with truth in your life?
How can RAIN help you to see all the "popsicles" in your way?

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One Last Kiss

"Everyone has their own experience. That's why we are here, to go through that experience, to learn, to go down those paths and eventually you may have gone down so many paths and learned so much that you don't have to come back again." ~  Prince

The past few days have been soul wrenching. The transition of the earth light known to the world as Prince is of profound personal loss to me. 

As words are my medium, I wanted to take to pen and paper but it has been difficult to reroute my thoughts past my pain. 

Those closest to me know well my affection for the man and that his energy has been of great significance in my life. His genius has lifted me in times most needed and I am at a loss to consider what life in the earth plane will be like for me now that he is gone.

"Music is real. It affects people. It's real." ~ Prince

I staid my grief and saw Purple Rain on the big screen yesterday with my children. In the past, I have taken my son still growing at 32 weeks in my womb to the Musicology concert and attended the Welcome 2 America performance with my then 11 year old daughter. I was happy for them to experience him the way I had, larger than life with pure potency on stage and on the big screen that moves through the spirit of the heart. 

I hope Prince would be pleased at knowing both my children are musicians and I plan to develop them as artists in the philosophy of his tradition of excellence and personal freedom of expression.

"There are no accidents. And if there are, it's up to us to look at them as something else. And that bravery is what creates new flowers." ~ Prince

I was fortunate to meet him back in the 90's via one of his famous after hours parties at his Glam Slam nightclub in Minneapolis. He was all I had imagined he would be; warm, smart, pretty, and fun. It was my first time seeing him perform live and I left that night grateful that he knew what I knew, that we existed on the planet in the same space at the same time.

"Despite everything, no one can dictate who you are to other people." ~ Prince

Prince made me believe it was okay to be me. To be unique and creative, to be called weird and be cool with it. To love God and not apologize for wanting to know Him. To keep walking toward my own definition of personal freedom in spite of fear and ridicule.

When he left this plane, he took a part of me with him, but Nothing Compares 2 what he has given me. A legacy of love, self discovery, personal reinvention, the pursuit of knowledge and working toward excellence.

Prince wanted each of us to know we could live free and be great. He taught us that having faith in God and committing to excellence would get us there.

I thank you, Prince, my most excellent friend and brother for your ministry of teaching and healing and all you have meant to me in this life. Rest now in that world of "never ending happiness, where you can always see the Sun". 

As I bid you farewell with a wave and one last third eye kiss, I look forward to seeing you for now in my dreams and meeting you again in the Light of the Dawn.

"Everybody's looking for the ladder. Everybody wants salvation of the soul. The steps you take are no easy road. But the reward is great for those who want to go."  ~ Prince 

Holy Water

"There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." 
~ Sylvia Plath

Nothing on this side of life compares to the transformative experience of becoming a mother. As earth light meets a newborn, the mommy energy each infant needs is birthed in the same moment.

Just this week, a dear friend was chosen to receive a beautiful baby boy. He will become her greatest love as she joyfully sets aside many of the personal rituals she has grown accustomed to in favor of tending to his care. There is no doubt she will win "Mother of the Year" and I pray she can savor the sweet time spent getting acquainted with her precious bundle. 

Sharing in her joy, causes me to reflect upon the two lights entrusted to my care. Now that my babies are teenagers, I wax nostalgic as I am able to come full circle to a time of rediscovery.

I traded hour long baths amidst scented candles, oils, and incense for quick showers. My evenings were better spent sponge sprinkling my babies and brushing their hair to their melodic newbie coos between the trickling sounds of water. 

"Anyone who thinks heaven is not hot water behind a locked door has forgotten what it means to live." ~ Lucy Frank

I have advanced in my motherhood journey and I look forward to hearing my friend share the beginnings of her new adventure. I am pleased to return to the evening baptisms in solitude I have missed. It is a quiet time to exhale the burdens and inhale the blessings of the day. A grace filled immersion into the healing waters of peace and restoration.  

Bath time can again serve as a brief retreat to balance my energies for the next day's journey and I am grateful.

Consider what your most transformative life experiences have birthed in you?
What personal rituals have you put aside for a time?
How do you go about restoring peace and healing balance before retiring from each day?

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Walking Across Our Own Fires of Change

"Making New Year resolutions is one thing. Remaining resolute and seeing them through is quite another." 
~ Alex Morritt

Have you abandoned the resolutions you made just mere weeks ago?

The typical tradition of setting resolutions in January found many declaring that this year would be different resolving to spend more time with family, get in shape, save money, or quit smoking. 

Unfortunately, by now, most of these promises have already been broken and sadly will produce little in terms of memorable change.

"Clear visions and positive goals, leads to positive actions and a purposeful life." ~ Laila Gifty Akita

Setting intentions has been my preference as they involve commitment to a choice. A desire to move into action toward expansion. A shift in thought paradigm that leads me to vibrate higher into an improved vision of my actualized self.

"You will find there are times you must grasp your life with both hands and forcefully steer it in a new direction and then strain to hold your course until the storms of fear, weakness, and doubt abate."  ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

In order to do this we must determine to walk through the fires which make us take stock of old habits that no longer work to our advantage. 

Even when things appear to be going well, a shift begins in the desire to aim higher, and a decision to work consistently toward goals that result in lasting change and a renewal. 

Running from the heat of change is futile and we must become mindful participants in the experience. The decision to walk across hot coals toward a more expansive self is challenging, but the results of our efforts allow an elevated merging of a more evolved mind, body, spirit at the end of the heated path. 

The New Year is still yet young, so dust off those resolutions and set your intention toward personal growth. The rewards that come with releasing all fear of the heat of transformation are great indeed.

"Seek to know thy soul; strength of love, light and life."   ~ Laila Gifty Akita

Are you still on track with the resolutions you made for this year?
Do the goals you have set meet your truest desire for lasting change?
What internal fires have you found yourself resisting to walk through in spite of the promises made to self?

Love Is In The Air ... I Think

"Through the many years of what I thought was 'searching', was really the process of 'awakening'."
~ Ka Chinery

The creative trends born of the internet are fascinating. These mini clips gone viral and laugh out loud stilled photos of human expression pairing short phrases, can often be laced with tinges of truth.

As I look forward to new offerings across the gamut of true love sweet nothings, bitter expressions of loss, and the half truths strewn between, a fitting sentiment can surely be found to fit all occasions.

"I was lying to myself when I thought I was lost, I have never been lost -- I just was not ready to be found." ~ Nikki Rowe

With so many ways of communicating our intentions to one another one would think it is easier now than ever to be straight forward. In the relationship arena, however, it would seem that game is still on. Some are on a quest for true love and commitment, while others not in search of serious long term involvement, seek the convenience of human connection. 

A colleague disclosed that the journey following the end of their marriage taught them the value of knowing the difference between the desire for a relationship versus missing the idea of being part of a coupling. 

"Shortly after separating from my spouse, I found myself missing their presence. I did not miss my role, but after almost 26 years of identifying as half a couple, I had to learn to be alone again. I chose to be single and I was not lonely. I had just forgotten how to appreciate my aloneness."

"Was it really some other person I was so anxious to discover, or was it my own solitude that I could not abide." ~ David Markson

This colleague acknowledged causing a great deal of disappointment and heartache in the life of someone who had sought a solid relationship committed to something more permanent. 

"I was in need of clarity to redefine my life. I invited someone in as a filler for what I was learning to live without. They sought long term love while I was seeking comfortable connection and I deeply regret the pain I caused." 

Still happily single, my friend now lives in a space of truth and authenticity in relationship to self and the individual currently alongside them on their redefined joy filled journey. 

"Why do you so earnestly seek the truth in distant places? Look for delusion and truth in the bottom of your own heart." ~ Ryokan

Can you define what being alone vs. being lonely means in your life?

Have you been seeking love or comfortable connection in your relationships?

Do you have the courage to be honest with yourself and others about what you truly seek in relationships?

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Communication, Communication, Communication

"As you can see our job is not done, our job just started, teen age children need as much love and support as toddlers do." ~ Beta Metani'Marashi

A counselor by trade, I find that my knowledge and expertise produces little result with my own teen-aged daughter. My work with parents and conversations with friends proves I am not alone in this fiery ring of purgatory. 

"A great challenge for parents is how to prepare themselves for being successful in advising our children." ~ Eraldo Banovac

Most attempts at communication with my fifteen year old are a challenge and according to her, I have not been right about anything since her tenth birthday. As a result, I am constantly reminding myself that my daughter is a gift from the womb of the Creator's mind and it is there I must always return for guidance. 

"An ever-growing, ever-constant relationship with God makes us certain of what we believe and enables us to run with endurance." ~ Katy Kaufman

Walking the hot coals of the parenting path as part of my soul growth means at times, I must slow my pace and experience the heat of the lesson. Reflecting upon who I was at her age, and rediscovering any soil within me yet to be excavated or overturned and determining what each block in our mother daughter experience is attempting to teach me. 

When I do this, God never fails to hold up the mirror that is my little girl reflecting His wisdom back at me. As she challenges me, my only jobs are to trust Him and keep loving her. My good or bad "mommy ego" has nothing to do with what my daughter needs. 

The Creator reminds me that communicating with my daughter is threefold and starts with seeking clarity of, in, and through Him.  He knows the mothering my daughter needs most and He knows the places within me, her mother, needing yet to be healed. 

As I rely upon this wisdom, He is communicating to and through us both.

"... you are my rainbow to keep. My eyes will always be watching you; never will I lose sight of you." ~ Vesna Bailey

Have you been communicating with your children through your "mommy ego"?
Are you allowing the Creator to speak to you through your children?
What lessons are you learning as you walk the hot coals of your parenting path?

The Plurality of You

"And I went into the new year loving myself a little less, but a little more where it actually mattered." 
~ Dominic Riccitello

Sometimes the simplest observations of truth presented in each moment can be the most profound. 

In standard English, you is both singular and plural. My second grade teacher told us when you point a finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you. The plurality of you in personal interactions must be examined be it business or personal.

"You have to learn how to deal with the truth right in front of you. No morphing. No sugar coating. Just deal with it." ~ My Sister

When you believe someone has misled you, before holding them accountable for all the hurt, anger, and disappointment they may have caused, consider the ways you have lied to yourself. It was you who wanted to believe them so much you overlooked the subtleties within their words and actions toward you and you kept on believing them well after it no longer felt like the truth.  

Why?

The common denominator and definer of truth in each experience you encounter and endure is you. Whether someone deals well with you or not, separating real truths from imagined ones is your responsibility to you. Scapegoating another with your refusal to do this serves no one, you least of all.

This year, begin anew by living in truth as best you can. Love and honor you as best you can.

"The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is." ~ Baruch Spinoza

What does the truth feel like to you in word and deed?
Will you ask three self-directed questions when you believe you have been lied to or misled?
Do you fear what those three questions will reveal to you about you?