What Our Fears Can Teach Us

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." ~ Jim Morrison

The National Safety Council maintains statistics on general "odds of dying" from selected causes, most of which will never happen to us, though, the odds of death from any cause are 100%.

When someone close experiences a traumatic life altering event, it is not uncommon to spiral into imaginings of "what could happen" in our own lives. During these times our fears threaten to overtake us. Since every experience is meant to magnify something within, we should use these opportunities to examine what our fears may be trying to tell us.

Our thoughts concerning death provide valuable lessons.

The stamina required to make final arrangements while tending to the estate business of a loved one is taxing. And when facing the full impact of your grief it is almost impossible. Past experience has urged me to complete this planning process on my own behalf as a loving gesture toward my family.  

Some will think this morbid and unnecessary as I am still relatively young and healthy, but for me, it is a common sense remedy that lends itself to minimizing any anxiety I face associated with my inevitable transition. Taking these actions now will benefit my family when this time is upon them.

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." ~ Marie Curie

In times of crises, normal concerns become magnified and can paralyze us. The recent Ebola scare has many who already dread suffering in sickness and death standing toe to toe with these common fears. An overwhelming number of those who believe in a Higher Power say that no matter what happens to their physical body, their spirit will live on, but this has not negated their increasing anxiety, though it should.

Contemplating death brings many logical concerns about how your lifestyle might be affected if the home's primary breadwinner were to become incapacitated or the individual you rely upon for emotional security were to become ill. We would be concerned about the welfare of our children and aging parents if we were no longer able to care for them. 

So let each of us examine our responses. When fear overwhelms us emotionally it is difficult to think or behave logically. Fear is a spirit that can be overcome with faith and our faith must be greater. His grace is sufficient to sustain us in any crises. Sit with your fears and let them teach you.

Are your current fears speaking to you?
What life circumstances do you fear will overtake you?
What actions might alleviate fear created anxiety?

"When we are afraid, we pull back from life. Evolution and all hopes for a better world must rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life." ~  John Lennon

Be Careful What You Wish For

"You will turn over many a futile new leaf until you learn we must all write on scratched out pages." 
~ Mignon McLaughlin

Each year as winter approaches, I consider the experiences of the past months and based upon these lessons I set goals and make plans to release my wishes into the coming new year. As usual my general list includes divine health, deeper wisdom, and increased prosperity. 

Over the years, I have discovered that though many of my desires are very personal ones, the wants of my ego self should never be permitted to take priority. All I wish for must intend to serve the greater good in Universal Love and Healing. 

"Sir my concern is not whether God is on our side. My great concern is to be on God's side." 
~ Abraham Lincoln

In her book, Beyond the Secret, Dr. Lisa Love suggests, 'before you start wishing for something, invite Spirit into the process to guide you to desire only what Spirit also desires for you.' This advice involves releasing your attachment to the outcomes of your wishes. The key to our peace is trusting that what God desires is divinely ordered and far exceeds any plans we could ever devise on our own behalf.

Shifting away from the controlling "must know" frequency of the ego self to the surrendered "need to know" frequency of Spirit does not have to be a challenge. Release your desire for guarantees that things work out as you hope and commit to the possibilities of all that God has in store. 

Better to be led by the grace of the Creator's love than dragged by the warped intention of the ego self. The finer art of peace filled living rests in the wisdom of letting go. When we choose to submit our plans to God we enter the peace that surpasses understanding. 

As a result of my decision to continue my quest to slay the ego dragon and be led by Spirit, my meditation practice has unveiled a new mantra. Your will. Your way. I'm still working out my wish list, but I am setting my ego self aside and allowing Spirit to take the lead. My ultimate desire is to let go and trust in the best Spirit has to offer. In the long term, negating my ego, will support my becoming a better mom, writer, teacher, and friend. 

"Your Will. Your Way."

Are you oriented toward Spirit or the ravenous desires of the ego self? 
Can you surrender your wishes to the ultimate intention of Spirit?
What is preventing you from trusting in the best your Creator has to offer?

"So often our greatest triumph is a willing surrender." 
~ Robert Brault

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Slow Down

"To enjoy just being somewhere, rather than rushing from somewhere, to somewhere. Inhaling deep lungfuls of air, instead of my usual shallow breaths. I take a moment to just stop and look around me. And smile to myself." ~ Alexandra Potter

I misplaced my keys every day this week.

Amidst all the comings and goings of everyone needing to be someplace at the same time as someone else, I have learned the hard way that losing my keys is a red flag. A sign I am backsliding into those old peace thieving habits that prevent the full experience of moments as they happen.

The hypnotic effect of this amazing race called life can be like running alongside a tire, focused only on keeping the wheel in motion at any cost; blind to whatever else might occur. At such times we are lulled into feeling powerful and in control. Only to awaken and find that we are chasing the tire not directing it. The tire has become our master. 

When rushing about, the subtle messages from Spirit that speak to our intuitive sensibilities are missed. And so the Universe steps in to slow us down with little reminders at first like lost keys and forgotten lunch boxes. If we are not careful, soon we are missing appointments, leaving the stove on, or running stop signs. 

Lessons unlearned will be repeated and each test is more difficult than the last. This is our soul work in the earth plane. Nothing is an accident and every moment occurs to teach us about ourselves. There is value in each experience, the blissful and the bitter. We must exist mindfully and absorb as much as we can. 

Rushing past pain ridden episodes does not cause us to hurt any less. Speeding through joy filled moments will not increase their number. When we do not walk in awareness we are robbed of the warmth and wisdom that awaits in the Sacred space of the Inner Heart. 

So tonight as I sit in tea meditation, I will be alive in each sip of slow reflection upon the lessons in peace and peril of this past week. I will smile in gratitude and reset my intention to be present in each moment.

And where are my keys? Atop my desk for safe keeping between my laptop and a favorite photo of my children. 

Are you chasing tires in over scheduled days?
What are the red flag indicators in your life?
Have you been missing or ignoring valuable messages from Spirit? 

"Life isn't just to be endured, it's to be enjoyed." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Don't Lose Yourself

"Living with life is very hard. Mostly we do our best to stifle life - to be tame or to be wanton, to be tranquilized or raging. Extremes have the same effect; they insulate us from the intensity of life." 
~ Jeanette Winterson 

The hobbies and special interests many of us enjoy often become passions. Those who are handy or artsy enjoy building and creating while others who possess a green thumb or cooking skills turn to such activities to lighten our hearts and release tensions. 

Whatever our gifts, it is through these outlets we can step back from the daily rise and grind of our must dos and non-negotiables. However, our passions are not meant to take the place of our responsibilities to work, family, community, and self health. We must be mindful of when our passions become unhealthy obsessions.

Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer." ~ Norman Mailer

Using obsession as a hiding place serves as an ultimate procrastination strategy enabling us to put off that which is necessary or imperative; a harsh truth to be faced, an uncomfortable conversation to be had, a tough decision to be made.  

Once we begin to use obsession as a defense mechanism we delay the inevitable and delay is the deadliest form of denial. It requires a substantial amount of energy investment and works hard to keep unacceptable feelings from consciousness. When we incorporate these habits into our lifestyle we are in danger of falling short of living up to the things that matter.

"You become what you think about all day long."    
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more intense the obsession, the greater the avoidance which can derail us past the limitations of our stamina. Once lost in a fortress of familiar pain we hesitate to absorb the reality of what we are doing to ourselves. 

Life is about learning through a perpetual series of ups and downs and Awakening, not unlike birth, is a painful process and having the scales removed from our eyes is an ordeal not reserved for the squeamish. This we must accept and allow in order to walk fully into the Light of our best selves. 

Look to the Creator for clarity. He is well able to support us in the ebb and flow of the waves of life and is alive alongside us in the refining flame of Awakening. 

Choose to make the Creator your passion and lose yourself in His Love.

Have your obsessions become a means of avoidance?
What inevitable truths in your life are your obsessions masking?
In what ways have your obsessions derailed your journey toward Awakening? 

"All extremes of feeling are allied with madness."   
~ Emily Dickinson

Your Race Is Yours To Run

"Today you are you. That's truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you." 
~ Dr. Suess

Parenting teenagers has its challenges. And raising an adolescent daughter in a lightning fast technological age is daunting indeed which makes monitoring her use of social media and its effects upon her psyche of great importance. 

Leon Festinger proposed in his theory on social comparison, that as a benchmark individuals tend to choose someone they believe is better at something than they are to use as a means of improving their personal performance. Unfortunately, this tendency to self-evaluate by comparing ourselves to others, can dictate how many young women today view themselves.  

This makes nurturing the health of my daughter's self concept imperative and causes me to reflect upon who I perceived myself to be at her age and the many lessons learned.

"The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself." ~ Baz Lurmann

"Run your own race," was our junior high track coach, Mrs. Brown's mantra. Though none of us kids understood at the time, she was introducing a valuable truth into our young lives.

The lesson was brought home when I found myself on the receiving end of her fiery correction. I can still see the whistle postured at the side of her mouth, stop watch in hand.  "What was that? You were not even close to your best time and you slowed down just before the finish line. You ran slower because you were beating her. What did she have to do with your race?"

Mrs. Brown required peak performance from her runners with each race. No matter who you ran behind, beside, against or ahead of your focus was to stay on proper form and increased speed. She wanted you to win, of course, but the victory had to be a personal one; a win from the inside and your rewards would show up in the perfect time.

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." ~ Mary Sarton

My goal is for my daughter to win as who she was created; to seek God and define herself through Him. We can be at our best when we trust Him and are self-determining. I encourage her to remain stable in this knowing whether drawing criticism or praise; to stay focused and forward thinking in the relay of life. 

Our purpose is to find strength to be our unique selves in Him. When running your race, there is no need to look right, left, or behind to check your progress against a fellow traveler. In seeking God we find our truest self and we have already earned the gold medal moment.


Do you fear not being accepted by others as you are?
Are the social comparisons you are making realistic ones?
What parts of your truest self are you sacrificing to be accepted by others?

"Your truest spiritual path will lead you to yourself for it is devoted to becoming." ~ Mollie Marti

Our Words Contain Power

"Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." ~ Patrick Rothfuss

I am a lover of words; a true lexophile. I delight in lyrics set upon the wind and the pulsation that comes to life in them between breaths. I adore the dance of colloquies inside laughter. I come alive when letters fudge together on blank pages as spirals of meaning in loops conjoining straight lines like the glory found in a lover's arms. No matter the language, words enrapture and transform my existence. 

My sentiments were expressed with magnificence during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing when dancers used their bodies to paint China's history upon a great unfolding scroll. This performance captured the spirit of what occurs between artist and muse when they frolic inside Light. The scent of forever trails along behind them; leaving pheromones of what they have created. I swoon when I reflect upon it. 

"For He spoke, and it came into being; He commanded, and it came into existence." ~ Psalm 33:9

The words we speak carry great responsibility. As a writer, I hope to unleash beauty and healing through my work as I endeavor to splash truth in love upon the page.

My grandmother would often remind me that unlike a pencil our tongues do not have erasers. "Your words are containers," she would say, "whenever you speak you release power." Though the delete button on my keyboard is handy, once words are cast into the Universe they take on the life of like energies.

And God said, "Let there be ..."

Yeshua said greater things could we accomplish than God empowered in Him to do. Armed with words which are power filled and tongues that are untamed, we must respect that when we speak we are releasing either life or death into a Universe which always hears. Our words should produce the wisdom and compassion that breeds life.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." ~ Proverbs 16:24

Consider the current state of your affairs. Much of what has been spoken from your own mouth initiated it. Each time you declare how much you hate your job, complain you never have any money, state that you will never find love, you cannot stop eating, or you wish you could but can't do something you are speaking to your life. You are the wielder of a generative flame and just as God spoke all life into existence, you are confessing what you desire to see unfold from your being.

So learn a new way to use the authority you were given by the One from whom all form is born. Use the sword of the spoken word to your greatest advantage and become a healing spring through which Universal Life flows freely. 

Extend the same grace you have been granted and bless all who cross your path. 

Confess only Life.

How are you using the power of your words?
What has been the impact of your words on your life?
When you speak into the lives of others do your words bring healing or wrath?

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips." ~ Psalm 141:3

Awaken The True You

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all." ~ Jim Morrison

Each day when confronted with unfavorable feelings and circumstances, we have an opportunity to open up or shut down to the experience. Whenever we find it difficult to exist within the reality of the present moment there is inner work to be done.  

Maitri is showing unconditional love and friendliness toward oneself. This concept involves training ourselves to notice when we are closing our hearts and stuffing our pain instead of exploring what we feel. Through maitri we examine our patterns of dealing with discomforts as they arise in a loving non-judgmental way.

An effective means to do this is in daily meditation practice. In true purpose, meditation is not escapism. It is a quest into realism where we allow our rubs to surface as opposed to diverting our attention from them. Meditation empowers our ability to identify the habitual triggers that distract from true growth.

"Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly." ~ Trungpa Rinpoche

When our children get into mischief we tell them to sit down and think about what they've done. This is the dialogue we should have with ourselves. Observing our thoughts and feelings to acknowledge their lessons decodes our behavioral responses. 

My teacher has helped me understand that when I become uncomfortable, less stable in my practice the soil is being overturned. The false imaginings of self that have taken root are being excavated and expelled. My practice exposes the places within my temple that serve as shields from the reality of my experiences. 

An ever deepening  practice helps me continue to embrace the inevitabilites of change. Ajna, my third eye, opens and my courage to confront challenges increases. These revelations liberate and with greater clarity I am released into the authentic realm of the senses whether pain filled or joyous eruptions.


Mirage of senses
Sincerity a stranger
My wings now healing

~ JoiLotus


When challenges arise do you welcome the lessons or do you resist them?
Are you aware of your patterns of response to your feelings and circumstances?
What prevents you from getting to know yourself at the deepest levels?

"The essence of bravery is being without self-deception." ~ Pema Chodron