Slow Down

"To enjoy just being somewhere, rather than rushing from somewhere, to somewhere. Inhaling deep lungfuls of air, instead of my usual shallow breaths. I take a moment to just stop and look around me. And smile to myself." ~ Alexandra Potter

I misplaced my keys every day this week.

Amidst all the comings and goings of everyone needing to be someplace at the same time as someone else, I have learned the hard way that losing my keys is a red flag. A sign I am backsliding into those old peace thieving habits that prevent the full experience of moments as they happen.

The hypnotic effect of this amazing race called life can be like running alongside a tire, focused only on keeping the wheel in motion at any cost; blind to whatever else might occur. At such times we are lulled into feeling powerful and in control. Only to awaken and find that we are chasing the tire not directing it. The tire has become our master. 

When rushing about, the subtle messages from Spirit that speak to our intuitive sensibilities are missed. And so the Universe steps in to slow us down with little reminders at first like lost keys and forgotten lunch boxes. If we are not careful, soon we are missing appointments, leaving the stove on, or running stop signs. 

Lessons unlearned will be repeated and each test is more difficult than the last. This is our soul work in the earth plane. Nothing is an accident and every moment occurs to teach us about ourselves. There is value in each experience, the blissful and the bitter. We must exist mindfully and absorb as much as we can. 

Rushing past pain ridden episodes does not cause us to hurt any less. Speeding through joy filled moments will not increase their number. When we do not walk in awareness we are robbed of the warmth and wisdom that awaits in the Sacred space of the Inner Heart. 

So tonight as I sit in tea meditation, I will be alive in each sip of slow reflection upon the lessons in peace and peril of this past week. I will smile in gratitude and reset my intention to be present in each moment.

And where are my keys? Atop my desk for safe keeping between my laptop and a favorite photo of my children. 

Are you chasing tires in over scheduled days?
What are the red flag indicators in your life?
Have you been missing or ignoring valuable messages from Spirit? 

"Life isn't just to be endured, it's to be enjoyed." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Don't Lose Yourself

"Living with life is very hard. Mostly we do our best to stifle life - to be tame or to be wanton, to be tranquilized or raging. Extremes have the same effect; they insulate us from the intensity of life." 
~ Jeanette Winterson 

The hobbies and special interests many of us enjoy often become passions. Those who are handy or artsy enjoy building and creating while others who possess a green thumb or cooking skills turn to such activities to lighten our hearts and release tensions. 

Whatever our gifts, it is through these outlets we can step back from the daily rise and grind of our must dos and non-negotiables. However, our passions are not meant to take the place of our responsibilities to work, family, community, and self health. We must be mindful of when our passions become unhealthy obsessions.

Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer." ~ Norman Mailer

Using obsession as a hiding place serves as an ultimate procrastination strategy enabling us to put off that which is necessary or imperative; a harsh truth to be faced, an uncomfortable conversation to be had, a tough decision to be made.  

Once we begin to use obsession as a defense mechanism we delay the inevitable and delay is the deadliest form of denial. It requires a substantial amount of energy investment and works hard to keep unacceptable feelings from consciousness. When we incorporate these habits into our lifestyle we are in danger of falling short of living up to the things that matter.

"You become what you think about all day long."    
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more intense the obsession, the greater the avoidance which can derail us past the limitations of our stamina. Once lost in a fortress of familiar pain we hesitate to absorb the reality of what we are doing to ourselves. 

Life is about learning through a perpetual series of ups and downs and Awakening, not unlike birth, is a painful process and having the scales removed from our eyes is an ordeal not reserved for the squeamish. This we must accept and allow in order to walk fully into the Light of our best selves. 

Look to the Creator for clarity. He is well able to support us in the ebb and flow of the waves of life and is alive alongside us in the refining flame of Awakening. 

Choose to make the Creator your passion and lose yourself in His Love.

Have your obsessions become a means of avoidance?
What inevitable truths in your life are your obsessions masking?
In what ways have your obsessions derailed your journey toward Awakening? 

"All extremes of feeling are allied with madness."   
~ Emily Dickinson

Your Race Is Yours To Run

"Today you are you. That's truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you." 
~ Dr. Suess

Parenting teenagers has its challenges. And raising an adolescent daughter in a lightning fast technological age is daunting indeed which makes monitoring her use of social media and its effects upon her psyche of great importance. 

Leon Festinger proposed in his theory on social comparison, that as a benchmark individuals tend to choose someone they believe is better at something than they are to use as a means of improving their personal performance. Unfortunately, this tendency to self-evaluate by comparing ourselves to others, can dictate how many young women today view themselves.  

This makes nurturing the health of my daughter's self concept imperative and causes me to reflect upon who I perceived myself to be at her age and the many lessons learned.

"The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself." ~ Baz Lurmann

"Run your own race," was our junior high track coach, Mrs. Brown's mantra. Though none of us kids understood at the time, she was introducing a valuable truth into our young lives.

The lesson was brought home when I found myself on the receiving end of her fiery correction. I can still see the whistle postured at the side of her mouth, stop watch in hand.  "What was that? You were not even close to your best time and you slowed down just before the finish line. You ran slower because you were beating her. What did she have to do with your race?"

Mrs. Brown required peak performance from her runners with each race. No matter who you ran behind, beside, against or ahead of your focus was to stay on proper form and increased speed. She wanted you to win, of course, but the victory had to be a personal one; a win from the inside and your rewards would show up in the perfect time.

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." ~ Mary Sarton

My goal is for my daughter to win as who she was created; to seek God and define herself through Him. We can be at our best when we trust Him and are self-determining. I encourage her to remain stable in this knowing whether drawing criticism or praise; to stay focused and forward thinking in the relay of life. 

Our purpose is to find strength to be our unique selves in Him. When running your race, there is no need to look right, left, or behind to check your progress against a fellow traveler. In seeking God we find our truest self and we have already earned the gold medal moment.


Do you fear not being accepted by others as you are?
Are the social comparisons you are making realistic ones?
What parts of your truest self are you sacrificing to be accepted by others?

"Your truest spiritual path will lead you to yourself for it is devoted to becoming." ~ Mollie Marti

Our Words Contain Power

"Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." ~ Patrick Rothfuss

I am a lover of words; a true lexophile. I delight in lyrics set upon the wind and the pulsation that comes to life in them between breaths. I adore the dance of colloquies inside laughter. I come alive when letters fudge together on blank pages as spirals of meaning in loops conjoining straight lines like the glory found in a lover's arms. No matter the language, words enrapture and transform my existence. 

My sentiments were expressed with magnificence during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing when dancers used their bodies to paint China's history upon a great unfolding scroll. This performance captured the spirit of what occurs between artist and muse when they frolic inside Light. The scent of forever trails along behind them; leaving pheromones of what they have created. I swoon when I reflect upon it. 

"For He spoke, and it came into being; He commanded, and it came into existence." ~ Psalm 33:9

The words we speak carry great responsibility. As a writer, I hope to unleash beauty and healing through my work as I endeavor to splash truth in love upon the page.

My grandmother would often remind me that unlike a pencil our tongues do not have erasers. "Your words are containers," she would say, "whenever you speak you release power." Though the delete button on my keyboard is handy, once words are cast into the Universe they take on the life of like energies.

And God said, "Let there be ..."

Yeshua said greater things could we accomplish than God empowered in Him to do. Armed with words which are power filled and tongues that are untamed, we must respect that when we speak we are releasing either life or death into a Universe which always hears. Our words should produce the wisdom and compassion that breeds life.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." ~ Proverbs 16:24

Consider the current state of your affairs. Much of what has been spoken from your own mouth initiated it. Each time you declare how much you hate your job, complain you never have any money, state that you will never find love, you cannot stop eating, or you wish you could but can't do something you are speaking to your life. You are the wielder of a generative flame and just as God spoke all life into existence, you are confessing what you desire to see unfold from your being.

So learn a new way to use the authority you were given by the One from whom all form is born. Use the sword of the spoken word to your greatest advantage and become a healing spring through which Universal Life flows freely. 

Extend the same grace you have been granted and bless all who cross your path. 

Confess only Life.

How are you using the power of your words?
What has been the impact of your words on your life?
When you speak into the lives of others do your words bring healing or wrath?

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips." ~ Psalm 141:3

Awaken The True You

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all." ~ Jim Morrison

Each day when confronted with unfavorable feelings and circumstances, we have an opportunity to open up or shut down to the experience. Whenever we find it difficult to exist within the reality of the present moment there is inner work to be done.  

Maitri is showing unconditional love and friendliness toward oneself. This concept involves training ourselves to notice when we are closing our hearts and stuffing our pain instead of exploring what we feel. Through maitri we examine our patterns of dealing with discomforts as they arise in a loving non-judgmental way.

An effective means to do this is in daily meditation practice. In true purpose, meditation is not escapism. It is a quest into realism where we allow our rubs to surface as opposed to diverting our attention from them. Meditation empowers our ability to identify the habitual triggers that distract from true growth.

"Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly." ~ Trungpa Rinpoche

When our children get into mischief we tell them to sit down and think about what they've done. This is the dialogue we should have with ourselves. Observing our thoughts and feelings to acknowledge their lessons decodes our behavioral responses. 

My teacher has helped me understand that when I become uncomfortable, less stable in my practice the soil is being overturned. The false imaginings of self that have taken root are being excavated and expelled. My practice exposes the places within my temple that serve as shields from the reality of my experiences. 

An ever deepening  practice helps me continue to embrace the inevitabilites of change. Ajna, my third eye, opens and my courage to confront challenges increases. These revelations liberate and with greater clarity I am released into the authentic realm of the senses whether pain filled or joyous eruptions.


Mirage of senses
Sincerity a stranger
My wings now healing

~ JoiLotus


When challenges arise do you welcome the lessons or do you resist them?
Are you aware of your patterns of response to your feelings and circumstances?
What prevents you from getting to know yourself at the deepest levels?

"The essence of bravery is being without self-deception." ~ Pema Chodron

Your World is Not Flat

"We all have an edge. We all are floating our psyche on top with a great ocean underneath." 
~ Brad Dourif

Being broken open by life though never pleasant is necessary for our growth. Staring at the shard pieces of our dreams and expectations is at once frightening, humbling, and all consuming.

I was swept up in the 80's television series, Beauty and the Beast, a fantastical modern retelling of the compassionate bond of friendship between Vincent and Catherine. Reflecting upon the show's theme, I find it was less about romantic love and more about how jewels of transformation wearing tragedy's disguise are hidden within our adversity to be mined to the surface.

Sadly, of course, like any epic romance, their affair met a Shakespearean end. As Vincent lamented being parted from his love, his father advised he allow the full magnitude of his grief to "crush him" promising there would be light on the other side. Since the only way out is through, it took some time, but Vincent's willingness to walk through the devastation of acceptance made it possible for him to trust in the new life that awaited on the other side of his pain.

"Sometimes it takes falling apart to see exactly how or what loosened the mortar. Sometimes we find we are responsible for the how and the what. As unpleasant as it is when it happens, one cannot help but appreciate these times, for what you learn serves as a beacon." 
~ Colleen Truscott Fry

A friend recently divorced after several years of marriage, disclosed how bitter she was at having to raise her children as a single parent. This was not her vision for her family and she quaked at the thought of redefining her expectations. "I adored my husband and I loved being his wife and I worked hard to keep our family together. I could not see past the painful ending of our union. Clinging to my disappointment had become a life line I depended upon for my survival and I spiraled down into disease and dysfunction. Instead of welcoming change and commencing into new life, I feared the unknown horizon and I questioned God's plan and His timing. My world was flat." 

We are not destined to become prisoners of our blighted hopes. Romans 8:28 reminds us that when we love God all things work together for our good according to His plan. We can trust Him with our scattered thoughts and shattered hearts. When we submit in faith to the full experience born of our losses we can be transformed mind and spirit to see our potential gain. 

As you approach the horizon, fear not to step over the edge into new promise. Your world is not flat and the unknown is not unknown to the One who loves you most and best.

What prevents your belief that new life awaits beyond your pain?
Are there potential losses you are currently facing that you are unable to see past?
What is the pay off for remaining in your self imposed prison of pain and prolonged misery?

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown; faith is knowing one of two things will happen. You'll have something solid to stand on, or you'll be taught how to fly." ~ Patrick Overton

For the Love of Black Sons

"I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything, except me." 
~ Ralph Ellison

It is with a heavy heart I put words to paper this week and though it is not my desire to make a political statement, I feel compelled to express concern for the potential of my son. Not just his potential to grow up and become an asset to American society and the global community at large, but also the potential for him to become a casualty of apparent abhorrence.

The past few weeks, I have held my breath in angst imagining the dread of black mothers in South Africa and the segregated South under the Apartheid and Jim Crow eras respectively. They knew each time the sons of their wombs left the safety of home and hearth that at any flip of folly present in the youthful decision making of boyhood, their sons could be struck down and forgotten before their bodies met the ground. An after thought dressed in the sun kissed skin once a reflection of royalty, now an ill-fitted cloak sullied and scourged left to die alone with none to cradle their heads as they breathe their last.

Yes, it is true our community has issues with violence turned upon itself, though however relevant, to make this comparison in light of what has occurred before the eyes of the world is a false equivalent. These internal challenges should not permit open season upon the black sons of this country. The unique historical burden of our experience is one with which no other sons of America must contend and will require many years to unravel. This millstone of contempt weighs heavily upon the backs of black men no matter their station including the black man currently at the seat of power in the Oval Office of these United States. 

Breath in night-blessed skin
Glory born yet feared, war torn
They hate me Iya  
~JoiLotus

Why is my son expected to walk a tight rope of perfection not required of other American sons?

Though still of elementary school age, I lament the day his fever breaks and he wakes to discover a country that devalues him yet celebrates his best friend. I deplore the lessons his father and uncles will sooner rather than later have to pass along to him to preserve his life when he is inevitably pulled over or detained for that which would be routine for his American peers.

African-American sons also are American sons of conceivable greatness.

It is time my son be extended the benefit of the familiar adage, "boys will be boys" when he stumbles or loses his way as developing boys often do. He should be viewed as an individual beyond judgement and bias. My son should be accepted as a young man of potential to do good, not be considered an arm of a criminal collective on sight just by virtue of his heritage. 

I am not asking anyone to love him as I do or to miss him as I would. My son is real and he carries the reality of my fears with him each time he leaves the safety of my arms. My hope is that when he enters a room, moves through a crowd, hails a cab, and steps onto an elevator he is "seen" as an individual with a beating heart, a mind filled with dreams, and a soul worth saving.

To truly live as one nation under God, America should remember Romans 2:11 says, "God is no respecter of persons" and it is my prayer that when America looks upon her black sons she can begin to "see" them through the lens of His love.

"See" my son. He is not invisible in the eyes of the God in whom America purports to trust.

"See" my son.

"Our too-young-and-too-new America lusty because it is lonely, aggressive because it is afraid, insists upon seeing the world in terms of good and bad, the holy and the evil, the high and the low, the white and the black; our America is frightened of fact, of history, of processes, of necessity. It hugs the easy way of damning those of whom it cannot understand, of excluding those who look different, and it salves its conscience with a self-draped cloak of righteousness." ~ Richard Wright