Be Your Own Calvary

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't ... it's that some people are ready to change and others are not." ~ James Gordon 

Well known motivational speaker, Les Brown often relates the following anecdote during his talks:

I was walking down the street and happened upon a man sitting on his porch. His dog was lying at his feet whimpering. "What's wrong with your dog?" I asked.  
"He's lying on a nail." 
"Lying on a nail," I said, "well, why doesn't he get up?" 
"It's not hurting bad enough," the man replied.

"In life pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." 
~ Haruki Murakami

There will be many episodes in life when our whimpers go unanswered and the Calvary never comes. Logic dictates that since his owner had done nothing to relieve the puppy's discomfort, he would move to another spot on the porch to avoid the nail. Clearly, a need was met by his decision to remain in pain.

Our goals are attached to every behavioral choice and internal needs drive us toward them. Goals are something one attempts to do or achieve while needs are a condition requiring supply or relief; a must have in order to live, succeed, or be happy. 

An internal need drives the dog to endure the discomfort of lying on the nail. Perhaps a desire to feel safe or by chance it's his favorite spot and his goal may be the sheer enjoyment of being near his owner. 

Who knows? 

But there he lies, atop that nail whimpering in pain.

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." ~ Edwin Louis Cole

Practical critical thinking, safety, and survival skills are invaluable. In my Girl Scout days, my favorite lessons were the ones that taught self sufficiency. Possessing these tools is empowering though said knowledge and abilities are of little benefit if not employed when called upon to "save one's own soul".

No one can free us from a job we hate, bad influences, financial setbacks, or relationships gone wrong; only our choices can do that. When in pain, sitting in an unlocked cell resigned to misery with the keys in hand is self defeating. Life is too short to keep waiting for the Calvary. We have to be our own hero or heroine.

Determine the nails you are lying upon and uncover the unmet internal needs causing you to endure those dull aches. Once those needs are satisfied in more positive fashion, you can pursue your external goals with renewed strength and increased insight. 

Can you identify the unmet internal needs driving your goals?
Are you willing to lift yourself off the nails causing the discomfort in your life? 
What prevents you from being your own Calvary?

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Make Each Task a Meditation

"A good traveler is one who knows how to travel with the mind." ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

I take little delight in grocery shopping. For me, it's like being on a treadmill or stationary bike. The monotony of the supermarket venture is deafening. Making miles, yet never arriving. Fruits and veggies, milk and eggs, bread and cheese, cereals and teas. Same aisles, same Muzak, same routine.  

In his book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh addresses this dilemma. He advises individuals to breathe deeply and "resolve to accomplish each task in a relaxed way with all your attention." This approach breaks up any leaning toward viewing our duties as nuisance ordeals. My decision to hate these jaunts had increased my suffering and while in the store I had been holding my breath the entire time. I must return to my breath and decide to be present for my appointment with the weekly shopping.  

"Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

When present in each inhale, I am open to discover the many wonders along each aisle. The energy of Mother Earth dwells inside the store and she provides the goods that stock the shelves which affords a means for me to sustain nourishment for my family. Within each exhale I become more aware of these truths and gratitude instead of ire begins to color my understanding. Life exists in the stacks of product surrounding me and it is to be honored and celebrated.   

Along the D.I.V.A path, I am learning how to enjoy every aspect of my life from the non-temporal to the mundane. Approaching my market stopovers as walking meditations eliminates the escalation of dread I experience circling the lot for a park near the cart returns. 

The evolved Zen Masters perform their daily tasks in a slow, deliberate manner, minus resistance. Each morning that I am granted another 24 hours of earth light is a most precious gift. My power of choice determines my willingness to sacrifice an hour of content to fuel my distaste for being in a grocery store. Applying this philosophy to any task broadens our awareness and we train ourselves to be mindful as a daily practice. 

It is possible to take peace in every step. 

Decide.

What duties do you find least enjoyable?
Are there things, tasks, or people in your life drawing you away from your peace?
How can you find peace in each step throughout your day?

"The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Available now on Amazon!
The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Available now on Amazon!
Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself
www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Join the journey and experience the joy of unfolding!
FREE EBOOK DOWNLOAD
Reawaken to Joy!
http://newjoyzbooks.weebly.com/join-nya.html

Coming Soon to Amazon!
Unfolding With Joy
Rediscover Yourself
and
Getting to Know You
The Value of Your Alone Time

Be Mindful of Your Love Witness

"A fine glass vase goes from treasure to trash, the moment it is broken. Fortunately something else happens to you and me. Pick up your pieces. Then, help me gather mine." ~ Vera Nazarian

The Earth is the transformative classroom into which we are born to become the spiritual image of the Creator made manifest. To accomplish this, as it is written in I John 4, "Let us love one another for love comes from God," we must learn to love as He loves.

And what is God's definition of love? 

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 
~ I Corinthians 13: 4-7

Learning to walk in profound love without conditions is our purpose and also our greatest challenge. It requires we work toward higher levels of maturity and acceptance. In order to do this, we must overcome those broken pieces of self that provide cracks for the Light to enter us. As we work through our trials stamina increases and makes growth in love possible.

We are commissioned to support one another and in the earth plane, our hands become the Creator's Hands. It is through us, in love that He ministers and as a result, we are all edified inter-dependently. 

To love as God loves, we must release judgement and the burden of attempting to orchestrate the lives of others to suit our individual standards or comfort. Loving in this way does not promise things will always be to our liking, but it permits the peace Yeshua promised before His Ascension to flow fully into all our lives. 

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these."
~ Gautama Buddha

Because we are here to stand in the gap for fellow travelers in need, it is by far the truest human demonstration of love to take the sojourn into self. An honest and fearless expedition; an excavation of our deficits so as to avoid the projection or transference of our desires onto another. 

Resting in the bosom of the Creator's abundant love, enables us to release our personal anger, envy, and selfishness and in doing so, we liberate fellow travelers to do likewise. All we need do is be willing to submit to the Creator and live as He asks. 

All we have to do is "be" love.

What is your definition of love?
What conditions have you placed on the love you extend to others?
What prohibits you from loving as God does?

"Love the one who is love, the one who gives us the power, the one who made everything. There will be peace for those who love God a lot." ~ Prince

Choose Joy

"I realize there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they're experts at letting things go."    ~Jeffrey McDaniels

The Diamond Sutra teaches that freedom exists in each moment of life and advises we meditate deeply in order to throw away the notion of self. Simplicity. Moment to moment mindfulness. The Diamond presents the possibility of "being" present in every breath beyond fear of acceptance. To master its principles means we can learn to live minus attachment to permanence, past experiences, without projection of expectations into the future. 

"Expectation is the root of all heartache." ~ William Shakespeare

In general, goals are stable and within our control and since they depend primarily on what we do are fluid in changing circumstances. Expectations differ from goals as they reflect our desires and are emotion based. Our expectations are not concrete or easily achieved because they depend upon things outside our being, often resting upon the decisions and behavior of another. 

Acceptance of unrealized expectations is disappointing in ways missing the mark on our goals is not. When we do not receive or get back based upon what we give we suffer. By floating our happiness on the waters of this type of uncertainty, we create a formula for the devastation of potential heartache and crushing blows to the ego.

"You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down." ~ Toni Morrison

Life happens to all of us. Acknowledge the painful discouragement of setbacks; let it pass over you, but do not wallow. Though we cannot control the events in our lives, we can choose our thoughts and how we feel about what occurs. Stay mindful and alert to the lessons.

Remember happiness is a fleeting emotional condition dependent upon things that exist outside of us, however, joy is a state of being at rest within our temple born of and sustained in our relationship with the Creator. Take a deep cleansing breath and choose to move forward in conscious awareness with joy.

The decision to sow joy and peace, or sorrow and "oh woe is me" will be the predictor of the theme of your future circumstances. The wisdom of the Diamond says to let go of self and all its attachments. Drop the "when I" "if only" "if they would just" from your emotional vocabulary and choose a mindful existence in the present. From the seeds you plant in your life today will spring the tree under which you will find yourself seated.

Release the habit of living "a joy deferred". Embrace the power of your right now. All you have is the breath in each moment you are given. It is yours. Take peace and "be" in it.

"The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go." ~C. JoyBell C.

A Sparrow's Life

"When God gives good times, He wants you to forget Him and sleep. When God gives you bad times He wants you to wake up and face Him." ~ Yogi Bhajan

Come Autumn, many moms will be packing the belongings of their only, eldest, or last child to take the forward leap into collegiate life. The rewards of this bittersweet chapter carry the prospect of an "empty nest" which breeds gleeful anticipation in the hearts of many yet for others it looms as a feeling of dread to be endured. It's amazing that we behave as if the sweeter experiences in life won't unfold in ways that are not everlasting and how taken aback we are when they do. 

While enjoying a bowl of your favorite ice cream, does the inevitable last spoonful occur to you? Your first day working for a great company, are you focused on the possibility of it folding? When hanging out with your closest circle of friends, do you imagine a time when the circle will be broken? The moment you believe you have seen eternal bliss in someone's eyes, do you fathom the moment they no longer see that light in yours? 

Enter Fear. For it is in these latter moments, now that we have been "abandoned" by our life lines and centers of contentment, we discover where we have been seeking our fulfillment. Where do we go now and to whom do we look to fill our cups consistently with all we need?

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." ~ 2 Corinthians 9:8

A fellow traveler cannot share with you that which does not exist in his being. Not unlike blood donorship, a good candidate must be healthy and scant of nothing the body needs. It is the same with our emotional and spiritual support. If devoid of peace, one cannot give you their peace. If short of joy, they cannot provide you with joy. If lacking in love, their love cannot sustain you in the way you may desire.

Inadequate maintenance of a mindful connection to the Creator as source and provision was an abrupt lesson to learn in the midst of tremendous heartache. As my "Hallmark" life crumbled around me and I faced grief and loss at every turn, I found I had been reliant upon pipelines of limited supply. The Creator was not my source, I had "outsourced" my peace and joy filled moments to the people and things in my life I had given the power to create them.  

We all know those who confess what they believe but once core tested their confidence proves it never took root and bloomed on the inside. The Creator provides all we are in need of materially, emotionally, and spiritually from His Universal Power and it exists in abundance. 

This means the Hand of the Creator is never shortened. He has plenty of whatever we desire including friends, surrogate moms and dads, children to nurture, material gain, and yes, new Adams and Eves with whom to share our hearts. 

Allow your cup to be filled from the One who lacks no good thing and whose will it is to bless you. A full cup means freedom from fear. When you know your every need is met you can be like the sparrow, which the Creator's Eye is always upon and you have the blessed assurance you always matter to Him.  

Welcome His love, health, joy, peace, and plenty. Embrace the carefree essence of the sparrow. Be a sparrow.

How full is your cup?
Do you live in fear of loss or abandonment of a circumstance, an individual, or lifestyle?
What/Whom other than the Creator are you dependent upon to provide fulfillment in your life?

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are numbered. So do not fear, you are worth more than many sparrows." ~ Matthew 10: 29-31

Available Now on Amazon!
Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself
www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Available Now on Amazon!
The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Available Soon on Amazon

Unfolding With Joy
Rediscover Yourself
and
Getting To Know You
The Value Of Our Alone Time

Join the journey and experience the joy of unfolding!
FREE EBOOK DOWNLOAD
http://newjoyzbooks.weebly.com/

Anger Is A Thief in Your Temple

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." ~ Marcus Aurelius

I spent time last week with a close friend and as she related recent conversations with her mother concerning her kids she became agitated. When I took her hand and asked why she was so angry with her mom the flood gates opened. "Now," I told her, "the healing can begin." Anger is a thief and has been robbing my friend of the beauty to be had in her relationship with her mother.

Anger as a normal part of our human experience plays out in unexpected ways. Its roots lie in the buried feelings we hesitate to explore or accept. When we hand out a good old fashioned dose of "act right" via one person show of ire in action, we believe we have shown strength. In actuality we have revealed our desperate attempt to contain the powder keg of pain just below our emotional surface.

"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems, not people; to focus your energies on answers, not excuses." ~ William Arthur Ward

I find it disturbing to hear someone lay claim to having "anger issues". This declaration provides a crutch which stunts the evolvement of the higher self.  Anger is a not so clever disguise used to mask real feelings and motivations. Hidden around dusty corners in our temple are unexplored questions and veiled resentments preventing authentic revelations that have the power to liberate us. 

Coddling and not challenging what lies beneath our irritations creates a facsimile of martyrdom. Using our peeves as shields against peeling back the layers of who we are to ourselves and others stagnates energy flow and distorts our experiences. Left unchecked, the thievery of animosity picks our temples clean of its treasures and rots the beauty waiting to be born in and of our being.

So return to your breath when your anger is triggered. Take courage to observe and name the form it has taken be it disappointment, sadness, jealousy, frustration, embarrassment,  or lack of forgiveness. Examine it to determine if you have been using rage as a weapon of control or manipulation. Holding others hostage for fear of your wrath creates discomfort in your relationships making communication with you from a place of honesty difficult. 

Nothing good can come of suppressed anger inside us unresolved. Instead we must seek the causes and eliminate any unmet needs that exist there. Clinging to anger and bitterness carries no reward. In the long run, we find that by doing so, we become thief and pillager of our own temple treasure and as such we remain under the stronghold of vexation and the illusion of the healing that could set us free.

Are you harboring unresolved anger?
Have you used anger as protection from painful experiences?
How have you allowed anger to behave as a thief in your temple?

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." ~ Victor Frankl

Tears Release Our Pains and Reveal Our Joys

"Perhaps there could be no joy on this planet without an equal weight of pain to balance it out on some unknown scale." ~ Stephenie Meyer

Emotional balance is not synonymous with a constant state of happiness. Being realistic and accepting the series of upward twists and downward spirals as what most often occurs in our lives to be the normal rhythm of human existence is a very real challenge for us all. Working toward a general feeling of satisfaction with our lives as opposed to the mythical attainment of the idyllic "pie in the sky" Pleasantville is sure to produce the least amount of overall suffering.

"He wept, and it felt as if the tears were cleansing him, as if his body needed to empty itself." ~ Lois Lowry

That life guarantees moments of great joy as well as tremendous anguish means there is a never ending purpose for our tears. Crying is more than an emotional release as our tears help the body cleanse itself of toxins at the mental, spiritual, and physical levels. If frustrated or overwhelmed with sadness or joy, crying is a sign you are experiencing something that must be dealt with or settled. Aside from an organic release, some still yet evolving souls resort to the inauthentic means of using tears for a social purpose as manipulation to win someone over to a way of thinking, to acquire a want, or get a perceived immediate need met. Whatever the cause, the cup of your spirit runneth over and the chemicals released in your tears reduces pain, anxiety, and stress. 

"When your heart speaks, take good notes." ~ Judith Campbell

The chakras are the body's internal energy system and the heart, anahata, is seated at its center as the place from which love, joy, and inner peace emanate. All feelings must filter through the heart; the simple and the complex, the joyous and the morose, the unsettling and the soothing. Allowing our tears to flow helps facilitate this process. When the heart chakra is blocked symptoms like hopelessness, distrust, respiratory problems, hypertension, and premature aging can manifest.

We must permit ourselves to experience the full gamut of our emotions from the deepest levels. Holding them in over the long term can be detrimental to physical health, mental stability, and overall personal well being. So have a good cry. Release your pain, reveal your joy and embrace pure self love in the space of the Higher Heart. It is there the truer experiences of Unconditional Universal Love await us.

"Tears are words the mouth can't say nor can the heart bare." ~ Joshua Wisenbaker

What is the present condition of your heart?
Have you been avoiding the experience of your emotional responses?
What keeps you from allowing yourself to "feel" your emotions?
When was the last time you had a good cry?